What is a hot mess, exactly?
Nachos are a hot mess. I love nachos.
Soup is a hot mess. I love soup.
Why do we describe a person who is in disarray as a “hot mess”, then?
Hot messes are awesome!
Which actually makes me wonder…
What’s wrong with being a person in disarray?
I celebrate the parts of me in disarray.
Being human is messy.
That’s a good thing.
Being tidy, organized and put together might work for some people.
It does not work for everyone.
It is not a permanent set of conditions. Organized is not a final destination.
And feeling like we are supposed to be tidy, organized and put together is unnecessary pressure that does not improve our results.
Judging ourselves and judging others is something our brains do.
Stomachs digest, blood vessels transport oxygen, and human minds judge.
It’s just the mind’s job.
The human mind is a HOT MESS and I love our human minds.
Brains make up stories.
Brains collect evidence and ignore other equally valid evidence.
Brains tell us that we aren’t good enough as a primitive motivation strategy.
I’m sure someone out there is a billionaire for selling tickets to a “you suck and we all know it” seminar. It would match the story we are most familiar with, after all.
Our brains are the real hot mess.
And don’t you love your brain?
It makes up stories. Use that to your advantage.
It collects evidence and ignores other evidence. Use that to your advantage.
It tells you that you’re worth less than others or better than others.
Oh, love that part of you that’s just trying to do its job, seeing where you fit into the rest of the humans.
So, let’s boost how you can accept and support yourself when you’re thinking, “I’m a hopeless hot mess!”
First, challenge that thought. Is it true? Are things really as bad as your mind is making it seem?
Then ask, “So what?” Does being a “hot mess” prevent you from reaching your dreams? Only if you think it does.
What if you saw your hot messiness as just part of being a human mammal living in a time with unreasonable data input and expectations.
You know what’s a hot mess? Modern life.
If you’re reading this article, chances are that you are doing your best. You probably have big dreams. You probably care deeply about the people you love.
When you feel “hot messy”, invite your brain to look at all the ways you are perfect.
Like nachos or soup.
And love yourself for all the ways you are you.
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