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The Disturbing Quiet of a Focused Mind
Where is your focus and attention in any given week or month? I closed out the end of last year doing a dive into where I think I spend my time compared to how I actually spend not only my time but my mental attention. I asked myself to focus on one goal (change initiative). […]
4 Love Challenges to Activate Joy
Love can be very, very playful. Isnât that love at its best, really? Today I offer you 4 playful challenges or invitations to activate more love and joy in your life this month. #1: Tell 5 people why you love them or their work. The first challenge is to tell 5 people that you donât […]
Exceptional Self-Listening
I told myself: âDonât answer that email yet. It really can wait. Take a minute to listen, please.â One of my coworkers was lashing out at team members when they were offering to help solve a problem. I could feel my blood pressure rising. âThis is unfair! Iâm not doing her âhomeworkâ again!â I paused. […]
How Much Time Do You Have?
Years ago, I discovered a blog post titled âThe Tail Endâ from âWait But Whyâ by Tim Urban. It visually lays out the remaining experiences of a 34 year old assuming they live to the age of 90. It has diagrams for how many winters remain or pizzas will be eaten, that sort of thing. […]
Celebrating 2022’s Most Impactful Relationships
Who did you spend the most time with in the past 11-12 months? Yourself, of course. You are the only person you spend time with around the clock. And you likely have a satellite of people who are in your life regularly. Evaluating who you spend time with – and why – can be a […]
Celebrating 2022’s Most Frequent Thoughts & Feelings
Itâs hard to believe another calendar year is coming to a close. Has it been what you expected? What did you accomplish? Iâve become a believer in the art and delight of celebration. Part of celebrating means âreverse engineeringâ what worked well and why. As part of reflecting on your previous 11-12 months, I invite […]
What Do You Want?
The year is coming to a close. Many of us are pondering the year. What weâve created. What we want to create. Most people use January as a starting line for new (or renewed) dreams. So letâs use December to connect to desire. Often, we think about what we want to do and who we […]
Gratitude & Appreciation
How do you experience the concept of âgratitudeâ? What about âappreciationâ? Do they feel differently to you? We are often encouraged to develop a gratitude practice. This might include starting the day with a gratitude list or ending with one, perhaps even in a journal. This is an amazing idea. And I have another one […]
Do You Take Time “Off”?
Do you take your vacation days? Do you use them to be âoffâ? Iâve noticed a new phrase in the past couple of years: âreal PTO.â (PTO = paid time off) As in, âIâm trying to take a real PTO this yearâŚâ which is code for âI donât plan to attend meetings, answer email, or […]
Leadership in Relationships
There are shelves in bookstores and pages in college catalogs devoted to leadership. There are advanced degrees, seminars, groups and organizations devoted to the topic. But I think the concept of âleadershipâ is remarkably simple: Knowing who you are, what you value and why Showing up in full integrity for who you are and what […]
Do You LOVE Future You?
One of the strategies I use as a coach to understand my clientâs primary mindset is to ask: âHowâs the relationship with your future self?â This question is, admittedly, fairly open ended. My clientâs reactions are useful information. Do they ask for clarification? And, if they understand the concept of future self, what is their […]
Stressful Short-Term Thinking
When you are feeling stressed out, where is your mind? For some, stress keeps us in short-term worries. We sometimes canât see a long-term future that is different from the stress we are experiencing now, and that clouds our ability to show up solving problems. I am overwhelmed at workâŚand I canât see a time […]
Too Much of a Good Thing
Sometimes I think our modern life has too many good things. And a surprising side effect of having many attractive choices is stress. These days, we probably all know the meaning of the acronyms FOMO and JOMO.** We have a wealth of entertainment options. Career options. Even dating options. I think about what my grandmotherâs […]
Being a Low Stress Friend
Are you a low stress friend? I was inspired to write this because Iâve been exploring how I show up as a friend and areas where Iâm not showing up. I did a podcast episode on friendship and it really changed my perspective. For one thing, I found out that researchers have studied friendship styles, […]
Bundles of Neurons
Yes, Iâm a life coach. What that really means, though, is that Iâm a thought analyzer. My clients have tens of thousands of thoughts each day. Me, too, and so do you. The human mind is a thought generating machine! This is a wonderful thing, the human mindâs capacity for thinking. For creating. For plain […]
Are Mistakes Okay?
Are mistakes okay? Answer with your gut, not the motivational speakerâs response to âfail your way to success.â Is it okay to make mistakes? In my culture, both the broader culture and the subculture that was my extended family, mistakes were super, really totally not okay. They meant you fâed up and should have planned […]
Game: “Majored In, Minored In”
My teenage kids make me laugh almost every day weâre together. One day my creative, somewhat sarcastic younger child made up a game: âIn college, I majored in _____ and minored in _____.â In his example, he would use curiously paired examples like âmajored in forensics accounting and minored in interpretive dance.â We had fun […]
Loosen the Leash
I adore my sweet dog, Bailey. Adore her. She is one of my favorite companions. She prefers to be in the same room that Iâm in and is a regular podcast producer and coaching support. Her very favorite thing in this whole world is to go for a walk. She does not walk, though. She […]
People’s Opinions are Invitations
Do you love other peopleâs strongly worded opinions that are the opposite of your opinions? People have a wide spectrum of reactions to other peopleâs opinions. Some people are completely immune to the ideas of others. They could care less about what other people think, whether in general, about the world, about politics or even […]
When I’m 64…!
I am completely charmed by the song âWhen Iâm Sixty-Fourâ written by Paul McCartney when he was 14. I am quite a bit closer to being 64 now than when I first fell in love with this tune in my teen years. When I first heard it, I liked this idea of a full yet […]
Where are you?
Where are you right now? Physically. Logistically. Financially. Socially. This article is not about accepting who you are but where you are. I coach people from their 20s to their 70s. I hear the spectrum of discontent from âI should know where Iâm goingâ to âI should have taken another path.â OrâŚâI need to make […]
Ask Amazing Questions
As students, we are taught to use questions as part of learning the skill of research and analysis. In fact, thereâs even a Wikipedia page on the âFive Ws.â Most of us are familiar with these questions, in a certain order: who, what, where, when, whyâŚand how. Outside of our studies/work, however, most of us […]
Thoughts on “Drama”
âO.M.G. Thereâs so much dramaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaâŚ.â I hear the word drama often, both in my personal and professional spheres. However, when Iâm coaching clients, itâs one of my âyellow lightâ words. This word arrives for two reasons. My client thinks they are being âdramaticâ or that someone in their life is causing âdrama.â When it comes […]
Messy Middles
Do you like when things are a mess? Most of the people I work with in my practice like things to be tidy. In their minds. In their work. In their families. In their environment. Tidy, tidy, tidy! (Listen, consider me a member of the tidy club. I even have a favorite hashtag I use […]
How to: The Change Cycle
Do you know how to change your life? I believe that you do. After all, your life likely looks very different than when you were 4 years old or 14 years old. Yet confidence in your ability to change can seem elusive when you are pursuing goals that stretch you into a new self-concept. It […]
Vacation: Enjoy the Ride Home?
Reflect on how you feel about the journey home from vacation/holiday. People seem to enjoy the ride to get to vacation whether by air, car, or train. Thereâs the sense of excitement and possibility, at least, and some enjoy the experience of going in itself. AndâŚwhat about the ride home? Most of us feel tired. […]