Project You

This is the second entry in a short blog series describing my current thinking about meaning. (Phew, tricky sentence!) 

These blogs might help you select a meaning to guide your life. Or fake meaning if you’re in an “in between” period, like me. Or not. 

Yet I wrote these to share my thoughts with you, which feels meaningful in itself. 

This is not meant to be definitive. In fact, it’s meant to be playful, to spark a conversation inside yourself or with others. 

As I see it today, the sources of a life’s meaning might be sorted into: 

1. Time 
2. Self 
3. Relationships 

Perspective Category 2: Self-Based Life of Meaning

I define “self” as a relationship – what I think about myself, what you think about you. 

But it’s a unique relationship, so I sorted it out from the other categories of perspectives. 

Self as meaning might look like: 

• Inward-directed thinking: What you value 
• Externally-directed thinking: Who you think others think you are or should be 
• Action: What you think you want to and/or should do

In other words, a person might derive meaning from their value system (thinking) or their behaviors (action). 

Now, again, these blogs are just one person’s thoughts at a point in time. Yet I have personally found that people tend to show up on a spectrum between thinking and doing. 

How might a self-based meaning for life look? 

A person might get meaning from their internal decisions such as what they value, how they identify, what they prefer. 

They might gain the most meaning from external indicators like feedback, group identity, hierarchies or social systems. 

Or they might feel the most meaning when they are behaving in certain ways such as how they spend their hours, money, and time. 

I think self-as-motivator or source of meaning is quite common in individualized societies. 

I feel like I see this orientation for a life’s meaning more and more. People are centering themselves on themselves as a source of passion or purpose. 

No judgment – this is simply my observation. 

After all, one’s source of meaning for life is incredibly personal. 

Whether it’s a net “positive” or net “negative” impact on a person or a group is in the eye of the beholder.  

We have always been humans who form opinions of ourselves. Now certain companies encourage us to broadcast our opinions of ourselves as the product to generate revenue. 

Ask these questions to reflect on self as meaning for life: 

• Is my identity the fuel for what I think, feel, and do? 
• Am I driven largely by the role I individually play in a group (team/family/industry, etc.)? 
• Do I agree with the statement “I am the sum of my actions/choices.”? 

Compare this blog to the previous entry on having a time-based source of meaning for your life. Ask yourself if you identify your meaning as being more related to time or self. 

If neither strikes a chord with you, you might consider what I have to share in the final series about meaning created through relationships. 

P.S. I invite you to fall in love with the “Less Stress, More Fun” podcast. Subscribe today! Each week’s episodes offer smart, fun ideas to reduce stress and boost your sense of playfulness.

This year, I’ve been reflecting on the idea of “meaning.” 

I’ve read “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, as have many who are interested in what makes humans tick, and I reread it again a few months ago. 

During this reflective period, I’ve been feeling terribly unsettled by what felt like a missing meaning. 

I really feel like I’ve lost my mojo. I even flirted with the idea that I was having a proper midlife crisis. 

One day, I asked myself: “Can a person ‘fake’ having a ‘meaning’? You know, fake it until it sticks?” 

But…what does having a “meaning” to make life “meaningful”…mean? (Yeah, you know how I like to get meta!) 

This short blog series describes my current thinking about meaning. 

It might or might not help you select a meaning to guide your life. It may or may not help you fake meaning if you’re in an “in between” period, like me. 

You know, it’s mostly me talking out loud with you, which feels meaningful in itself. 

These blogs are not meant to be definitive. Instead, they’re meant to be playful. You can let these blogs spark a conversation inside yourself or with others. 

As I see it today, the sources of a life’s meaning might be sorted into: 

1. Time 
2. Self 
3. Relationships 

Perspective Category 1: Time-Based Life of Meaning

Some people discover meaning in how they relate to time. 

There are those who are focused mostly on the past. 

Some who are happily encamped in the present moment. 

And yet others who cast their vision to the future. 

A past focus is considering what happened. Family history, social history, the way things used to be, the shame of the past, the glory of the past. Ah, yes, remember that? 

Past can inform meaning because it might give people a reason to rise above. It can be the meaning for not changing or claiming different possibilities. 

I had a strong past focus early in adulthood. I was all about getting out of my painful history into somewhere better. 

The past can be fuel. The past can be a trap. For those with a past focus, “what was” is the reason for, the meaning behind, what is and what will be done. 

Present focus is here. Now. What happened and what will happen is less meaningful than what’s taking place today. 

To be honest, as I play with this concept, I find the idea of being driven by the present to be so unusual as to be unrelatable. I wonder what it would be like to be a person whose life’s meaning is centered in being completely present. (If this is you, share a comment to let me know how this looks for you!)

Finally, if you’re a time-based meaning person, you might have a future focus. 

I admit that, in the past, I’ve been attracted to people messaging about the future. I’ve even dabbled in their teachings for myself. 

Who will I be in the future? What will the future be? Will my actions have a ripple effect in the future? 

The future can be a very compelling source of meaning, very passionate. People with a strong meaning base in “the future” seem to have a sense of being very in control of their lives. 

Consider for yourself if you are moved into certain mental states, feelings, and/or actions when your life is meaningful because of time. 

• Do you think about your history as a reason to do/avoid doing certain things? (past) 
• Do you find your greatest meaning in what you are doing each moment? (present) 
• Do you imagine your legacy and impact, and is that a reason for what you choose to do with your time and energy? (future)

Enjoy the exploration. Up next is a pondering of meaning through self. P.S. I invite you to fall in love with the “Less Stress, More Fun” podcast. Subscribe today! Each week’s episodes offer smart, fun ideas to reduce stress and boost your sense of playfulness.