You are a magician!
You can create feelings – any feelings – about anything!
You can create any feelings about any person…including your partner.
Are you a parent?
Do you love your children? Why?
This is something most people don’t question but…think about it. Where does the love come from?
Now imagine your favorite TV show or movie. Imagine a character that you love. Maybe there’s a character that you love to hate.
My youngest son and I do not like the character of Ross in Friends. We have our reasons, primarily that we enjoy randomly banding together in a faux dislike of a faux person. We find it very meta and heee-larious to pretend to care about Ross enough to dislike him.
Thoughts: Ross is whiny. Ross plays synthesizer. Ross is “too” earnest. Ross does that shushing thing with the hand gesture and the “know-it-all” face. Feeling: Dislike
Thoughts: Ross is a supportive friend. Ross is committed to his kids. Ross loves deeply. Feeling: Like
Same character. Different experiences for the thinker. Zero impact on Ross’ “life.”
Notice the thoughts and feelings you have about your partner most frequently.
Pay attention to how your brain goes on a treasure hunt for evidence to prove your thoughts true.
Flip the feelings. What thoughts would create those feelings?
“She puts too much pressure on me to have sex.” = feeling “resistant” or “discouraged”
“She feels a strong need to connect with me through sex.” = feeling “curious” or “desired”
Same situation, different interpretation.
You can do that with your mind like MAGIC!
Alright, you can likely guess what I will suggest to you next because you have a magic mind.
Write down the 5-10 most common thoughts you have about your partner.
List what each thought causes you to feel.
These are the thoughts you are choosing today.
Are you happy with this list? If not, brainstorm what you would like to change.
This is part of the work I do with my clients each week. You cannot create your partner’s thoughts, feelings or actions. But you can learn to intentionally create and act on your own feelings.
And the results? Pure magic.
Love you madly,
P.S. Would you like to create a magical connection with your partner? My coaching program is more than a bag of tricks. Click here to sign up for a free session if you’re curious to learn more.