In a previous blog, I told you about my inner monster mind (Striga), the would-be enemy to my dreams.
Now I want to talk about another strategy for sticking with your goals.
A few years ago, my family was going to the San Antonio tea gardens. On the drive, we listened to the “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” podcast episode on the Rebel tendency.
By the time we parked the car, I felt like my world had tilted sideways.
I would have labeled myself a Questioner. I knew I was a “oh, hell no!” to being an Upholder or Obliger, for sure.
Now, to be clear, this is not a scientifically validated yada-yada-yada, and I don’t live my life by my MBTI type or DiSC or even CliftonStrengths (even though coach certification #1 focused on strengths).
But I do find these personality frameworks to be a way to play with my mind’s stories and understand its schemas and it can provide a shortcut for people who are versed in these sorts of things.
Plus it’s just plain fun!
Anyhoo, back to my story. I’m a rebel, and learning this drastically improved my life. Eventually. After the hopelessness wore off – ha!
It helped me detect and understand one of my most annoying patterns.
It went like this…
I’d set a goal, try to be “disciplined” (read: rigid and inflexible to fix myself for once and for all)…
then trash my best laid plans like a bratty rock star.
What is more fun than fighting against myself? Not much, honestly.
So how can I set and achieve goals?
This pattern is still in play for me, and one of my favorite games is to rage against the machine that is me.
Thus was born one of my favorite concepts: intentional flexibility
I now practice deciding in advance what parts of a goal I will be flexible about and which ones “must comply” with the terms of my agreement with myself.
My favorite example is my workout program.
I set the minimum baselines which are the frequency and duration of workouts.
Then I choose my method (for me, my primary is workouts on Beachbody on Demand because, shello!, I literally can do them with my phone and a 6 foot square space).
Then I choose my flexibility.
No, I do not have to become an early morning workout-er. I can do them any time of day that suits my schedule but, by golly, I am the person who does her workout that day unless I’m physically ill. It’s 10+ minutes per day, but it can be barre or HIIT or yoga or whatever.
Do you have trouble being “disciplined” and sticking with your plan? Any rebels in the house with me? Holler!
Play with the concept of intentional flexibility.
Commit to one powerful goal. Set your minimum baseline or non-negotiable standards. Then decide in advance where you will allow flexibility.
And then allow yourself to exercise your flexibility.
Feel the power you have over yourself!
You do not have to tell yourself what to do all the time.
You can be spontaneous and wing it.
And you can reach your goals if you ask yourself to stay true to the most critical parts.
Thank goodness for the Rebels among us – we are fire starters!
But…make sure you don’t set yourself up and knock your future down.
Instead, imagine the Future You that you want to create.
Stay in integrity with the reason you set that goal, why you are willing to burn it all down to build up something new.
Triumphing over yourself is a subversive act of rebellion sometimes.
So, rage on, rebels.
Love you madly,
P.S. Find your habit tendency using this quiz, if you like to play with this sort of thing.
P.P.S. Rebels are the least common tendency. Which we Rebels love to point out, like, all the time.