Hello, beautiful you,
I had a curious conversation this week. The woman I was speaking to had a dream life. Very shiny. Successful in all the obvious ways.
And she is miserable. Exhausted. Not seeing the beautiful aspects that she’d created at all.
When you’re in a low intimacy relationship, it seems like a problem that eclipses your entire relationship.
That is not to say that you shouldn’t strive for improvements. Pursue any dream you desire, absolutely!
And I’m certainly not going to advise putting on a happy face or saying a few affirmations. I don’t believe it’s healthy to force gratitude because of thinking like, “Hey, things could be worse!” Please don’t diminish your feelings like that.
And yet, we can learn from someone who has “it all” and feels like life is a chore.
Where we focus our attention and energy is a choice.
Yes, you may have aspects of your relationship that you want to change.
And…maybe there are aspects that you love and appreciate but don’t see anymore because it seems easier to notice what your relationship lacks.
This week, notice beautiful things about your relationship.
Nothing to see? Look again. Look closely.
Look for sprouts of connection that could grow into more intimacy.
Sometimes creating big change starts with the willingness to make small changes in what we pay attention to in a relationship.
Love you madly,
P.S. Turn this into a mini-project! At the end of the day, write down 3 observations you made about your relationship. Note whether they are “positive” or “negative.” Remember that nothing is “positive” or “negative” until we label it that way…so ask yourself with loving curiosity why you chose as you did. Enjoy!
P.P.S. I have 1-on-1 coaching spots open!! Sign up for a consult if you want to learn how to build intimacy in your relationship.