Hello, lovely you!
Here’s a little gift – my favorite question.
Enjoy putting it into practice and watch what happens!
First, a little background.
Life happens around you. Unexpected situations come up. (I mean, we can expect that will happen!)
Sometimes those unexpected situations could be labeled “bad” or “negative.”
What’s your first reaction?
Most of the time, my first reaction to the “unpleasant unexpected” is annoyance, frustration, anger or disappointment.
That was the case for me last week. On one of my projects, the client asked for new work that would add weeks to an already tight timeline. Our carefully crafted plan went out the window because of an unplanned ask. I was Very Displeased. This is a serious project with significant financial impacts and we are getting derailed by an ask for something I labeled “completely unreasonable!”
“This should not be happening!!”
But it sure was!
The situation was happening, and my upset wasn’t going to change or improve it one tiny bit.
So, I pulled out my favorite tool for the unexpected:
“This is happening. So, now what?”
The “now what” part is code for my favorite question:
“How am I going to show up for myself in this situation?”
Notice how I turn the attention back to me, to my opinion of myself, and how I want to live through this part of my life’s movie.
I am not worrying about what other people think of me, whether I’ll make a “wrong” choice, or time traveling into the past or the future.
I pull myself into the moment to reflect. I tell myself, “I get the ultimate choice here. I get to decide how much this hijacks my energy. What do I want to choose on purpose?”
This question ”So, now what?” pauses time.
This situation is happening.
Flat tire? “This is happening. So, now what?”
Rejected by your partner? “This is happening. So, now what?”
Client freaking out about your company’s service? “This is happening. So, now what?”
Kid refusing to [fill in the blank]. “This is happening. So, now what?”
This gives me time to answer my question.
I choose on purpose to notice my heart racing.
I choose to feel the feelings and not try to “fix” the feeling or make it – poof! – disappear.
I choose to own which part is mine to keep – how I react and respond – and which parts of the situation are for others to take responsibility for.
I step into the person I choose to be in that moment.
If you practice this 100 times or 1000 times, I guarantee you will not be the same person.
You’ll have an emotional mastery that makes you feel like a total boss.
Love you madly,