Many of you know me from my relationship work, yet you might not know that I coach a LOT about body image and emotional eating.
They go hand in hand, in many cases.
Lack of intimacy can encourage seeking comfort in food, alcohol, or other indulgences to get a hit of “feel good.”
But the consequence of indulging in a craving can be feeling like a double loser.
First feeling bad. Then feeling bad about overdoing it, whatever “it” means.
Some people call this the “downward spiral” – how dramatic!
I think the secret to emotional mastery is learning how to slow down time.
Think of Neo dodging bullets in the Matrix super slow mo’ style.
You are Neo. The bullets are what prevents your favorite version of you from showing up in the moment.
Do you find yourself standing in front of the pantry looking for a little somethin’?
What are you hungry for?
Do you find yourself scrolling for hours on end?
What are you hungry for?
And will you find the answer to your hunger there?
Here’s the kicker…
Maybe there’s nothing that will answer your hunger and that’s just fine.
Craving seems to be a part of life, definitely a part of modern life.
We’re brainwashed sun up to sun down that “better” is on the other side of “whatever.”
Whatever we think we’re hungry for, life will be better when we get it.
But then we’ll just want something else.
So, in that moment of craving, avoid willpower or positive affirmations for self-judgement.
Just ask “what am I hungry for?” and listen with curiosity for the answer.
And don’t feel obligated to deliver anything in response to your answer.
Hungry for something to chew? Sure, I get that. Chewing is awesome.
Hungry for connection? Totally, I get that. It is awesome when I feel connected.
Hungry for excitement? Yeah, of course, that’s cool when it happens, right?
Curiosity, acknowledging the desire, and sticking with your plan.
Seriously, try this out a few times next week.
Notice the hunger. Ask what you’re hungry for. Then agree with the hunger without acting to make it go away.
I mean, of course we want to feel good all of the time. I’d love to give that version of life a try!
But I don’t have to.
I get to be as hungry as I want as often as I want.
Let the hunger be, and choose what’s best for me.
It really, truly, absolutely is that easy.
Love you madly,
LisaP.S. This kind of reminds me of the Jim Carrey quote: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” Bonus homework: If being rich, famous, in love, thin, smart, full, connected isn’t “the answer”…what is?