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    Lisa Schwaller

    Helping High Performing, Creative People Develop AMAZING Habits

    fun

    Yummy, Yummy Drama | Getting Personal

    by

    It’s such a joy writing my blogs/articles. 

    Yet I’ve felt like I’m supposed to make sure it’s useful and constructive. 

    However, I’ve decided that I want to be a little more informal and playful and, yup, personal. 

    Why the heck not? I write these for me +1. I am just tickled when people come up to me and share that my podcast or an article has provided a bit of relief from stress or a moment of fun. 

    In that spirit, I want to confess something to you. 

    OMG. It’s juicy.

    I

    Love

    Drama.

    Dramaaaaahhhh. Drama with a capital “D.”

    This confession shocks me. Why? Because I thought I was immune to such childish things. 

    But, no. I love drama. I love hatin’ on things. I love the villain so I can hate the villain. I love snark. I love reading the news so I can hate on the state of the world. I love having high ‘n’ mighty conversations with other people about how things “should be done.” I mean, we obviously know the preferred way, yes? Indeed. Haters gonna hate – it’s me! 

    But, wait, there’s more. I love to hate on things that have disappointed me. (Yeah, American politics and corporations, I’m looking at you!) 

    Two things to share about my confession: 

    1. It actually surprises me how much I judge myself for being drawn to Drama like a moth to a flame. 
    2. I am incredibly curious about why humans in general seem so drawn to Drama. 

    I started to watch the Depp vs. Heard show on ye ol’ streaming service but decided to stop when it seemed like 50% of the story was about humans doing the Drama Pile On via social media. 

    Side note: I don’t think that showing TikTok snippets is a strong documentary approach. Hated it! 

    Why do humans love Drama? 

    After coaching thousands of people, I have formed a strong belief that what motivates humans more than anything is social status. 

    Because social status infers security. And humans crave security. 

    So of course we are attracted to drama. It’s one way, perhaps, that our minds learn what will earn or deduct status from a person. We’ve got to know how the people feel so we know what to think, feel, and do! 

    My work is about helping myself and others live intentionally from a position of creating less stress and more fun. 

    With that in mind, I’ve decided the following for myself: 

    • I will not create stress via judgment about my tendency to be attracted to drama. I’m human. I don’t need to rise above my humanity. Yeah, I love drama. Most people do. See exhibit: all of human history
    • I will create more fun by choosing a relationship with Drama that enables curiosity and maybe even closeness to others. If my attention to a bit o’ Drama hurts me or others – it’s a no. If it helps process frustration or provides harm-less entertainment – it’s a maybe. 

    Feel free to use those suggestions yourself, if useful. 

    Sometimes I wake up noticing how I’ve been drawn into Drama, I get to ask myself, “Is this where I want to give my attention?” 

    And, yup, sometimes the answer for me is “YES!” 

    Gotta run! That California-based reality TV show about real estate is back with another season. Time to tune into the dramaaaaaahhh….

    P.S. I invite you to fall in love with the “Less Stress, More Fun” podcast. Subscribe today! Each week’s episodes offer smart, fun ideas to reduce stress and boost your sense of playfulness.

    woman whispering on woman's ear while hands on lips
    Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

    Game: “Majored In, Minored In”

    by

    My teenage kids make me laugh almost every day we’re together.

    One day my creative, somewhat sarcastic younger child made up a game:

    “In college, I majored in _____ and minored in _____.”

    In his example, he would use curiously paired examples like “majored in forensics accounting and minored in interpretive dance.”

    We had fun at dinner that night playing the “majored in, minored in” game.

    It quickly became ridiculous trying to find combinations that didn’t seem to have any connection at face value.

    And I started to wonder how I could use it to help people in my “Less Stress, More Fun” community. 

    Here are examples:

    • “I majored in strongly worded email counter attacks and minored in giving people the benefit of the doubt…sometimes.”
    • “I majored in snapping at my partner and minored in awkward, insincere apologies.”
    • “I majored in saying yes to keep the peace and minored in seething with resentment.”
    • “I majored in quitting fitness and nutrition goals and minored in feeling uncomfortable in my body.”

    Look at areas where you are performing beautifully in your life.

    Consider areas of your life that are not meeting expectations.

    How are you showing up with all the idiosyncrasies of being human?

    To make this game more practical,

    1. Pick something that you do that’s the focus of your behavior, what you and other people see you doing. That’s your major, the focus of your “studies.”
    2. Pick a consequence that seems to match the habit. That’s your minor, the part of your “studies” that is visible but takes a backseat to your major. 

    It can be a playful way to see where you’re focusing your attention.

    Do you see anything that you’d like to change?

    If you could start over, what would you major and minor in for the studious game of life?

    (By the way, you really can start anew again today.)

    • “I am going to major in calling my grandmother every 2 weeks and minor in telling her my favorite memories of time spent together.”
    • “I am going to major in having impeccable work-life boundaries and minor in not checking email on weekends.”
    • “I am going to major in speaking respectfully to my spouse and minor in journaling about their best qualities each week.”

    How about a few that focus on fun:

    • “I am going to major in amazing weekend trips and minor in booking lodging 4 months in advance.”
    • “I am going to major in being known as a fun coworker and minor in deliberately showing up to shape organizational culture.”

    And, of course, you can be completely ridiculous:

    • “I majored in doodling sea turtles and minored in mime.”
    • “I majored in participating in Le Croix flavor focus groups and minored in carbonation science.”
    • “I majored in being a soft talker and minored in synchronized winking.”

    This is a ridiculous article.

    And…

    I hope it makes you chuckle while also making you think.

    This life is yours to play.

    What will you major in?

    And what minors are a perfect compliment or foil?
    P.S. I invite you to fall in love with the “Less Stress, More Fun” podcast. Subscribe today! Each week’s episodes offer smart, fun ideas to reduce stress and boost your sense of playfulness.

    Photo by Leon Wu on Unsplash