Are you happy with the pace of your life?
More specifically, what do you think about the pace of your goal achievement?
One of the communities that I’m in talks a lot about goals. Results. Making things happen.
The strong cultural focus on outcomes makes it inevitable that there would be comparisons, whether intentionally or not.
What I realized after coaching hundreds of people is that goal achievement isn’t the only evidence of progress.
I’m working with a client who has a dream of a successful business, one that can sustain their family while making their community a better place.
There was so much pressure being generated inside this client’s mind. It sounded like, “Why am I not getting this dream faster?”
The focus on the goal – revenue – made it hard to see progress.
The truth is that for this client, they had a lot of personal growth and healing to do.
They come from a traumatic childhood full of violence and other limitations which impacted their ability to mature as a self-confident adult.
Because of their background, my client has not been great at dealing with opinions because feedback from other people is often interpreted as criticism.
Criticism would trigger their “I’m not worthy” thought process. And down the rabbit hole of self-loathing they would go.
In the process of working through their thought patterns in coaching, they now believe new things, thoughts that were not even on their radar 3-4 years ago.
For example, here are a few of my client’s new beliefs, beliefs created because of their willingness to show up ready to work in their weekly coaching sessions:
- “I have thoughts. My thoughts are not me. They come from my brain but they do not reflect everything that I might believe about myself or do in the future.”
- “The future can be different from the past.”
- “I like myself and I’m on my side.”
- “I make good decisions with the information available.”
- “I want my life to be meaningful, about service and not just about protecting and surviving.”
These belief changes are HUGE. Massive.
These changes in how my client sees the world is changing her life beyond description. She’s showing up more expansively and connected at home and at work.
I wholeheartedly believe that the revenue numbers in her business will start to reflect this internal work.
What we learned is that the work done by each individual – the inner work and the outer work – takes as long as it takes.
Each of us has an invitation to find our own gear. Some people are able to go fast, long, and hard to win the race. Others of us need time to putter around, to get the feel of the movement before accelerating.
Pace isn’t the only way to amplify your perception of your success.
Goal achievement isn’t the only marker of success.
I believe that meaningful success is growing your capacity for what you believe about yourself and what you can contribute to this world. And, perhaps, inspiring others to grow their capacity, too.
I encourage all of you who are going at your own pace, finding your own gear, healing your hearts and minds, and being wildly successful from the inside out. Find your gear. Keep on moving from love, compassion, and self-kindness. Moving at the pace of your self-trust is a good way to journey in this life.
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