Lisa Schwaller Coaching

Certified Life Coach

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Surprising Feelings: Jealousy

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One of the most challenging aspects of self-coaching for me is learning to get in touch with my emotions. Not just labeling them but – ACK! – feeling them. Like with my body and stuff!

I see the benefits of this touchy-feely feeling practice now. As a result, I consistently practice feeling my emotions. 

This increases my general awareness of my feelings. 

One emotion that has been popping up with more regularity is…

jealousy

Gross! I do not want to be a jealous person. At this stage of life, I am what I am, I love myself, and I am full of expansive love for other people. Truly, I feel in a nirvana enlightened state a fairly high percentage of the time. 

So…jealousy? It’s at all kinds of things, a pretty outfit or someone’s financial fortune. 

And then, finally, my coach mind caught up to my Observer mind and I had an epiphany:

The jealousy was not wanting what person X had for myself. 

It is an indication of my increasing self-awareness of my general desire. 

I want things. After years of feeling anxious about, um, everything, it’s so encouraging to be a thought away from so many beautiful wishes. It’s a 180 degree shift from feeling overwhelmed.

Are there emotions surprising you lately? What are your heart and mind trying to bring to your attention? Be curious and see what beautiful lessons await. 

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My Very Best Friend

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What is your relationship with yourself?

Do your thoughts about yourself sound like an impatient parent scolding a child?

How does that make you feel?

Probaby awesome, inspired and motivated to make big, healthy, positive changes!

NOT!

Think about what the world would be like if we were all our own best friend first. How would it feel to love ourselves that much?

Now, in most cases, we love our best friends because of how we feel when we’re in their company.

We feel supported. Or like our individuality is seen, recognized, and valued. 

In time, the relationship grows. We earn each other’s trust through positive shared experiences. 

We learn that we can really, really count on that person to be there for us in times of celebration and need. 

How does your best friend talk to you? How do you talk to your best friend?

Does it match the way you talk to yourself? 

Imagine this…

Something awesome happens! Your best friend says, “Meh, that was a fluke. Anyone could do that?”

Or, imagine making a mistake.  Your best friend says, “Oh, how could you do that! That was pretty stupid. You’ll never get to your goal doing that!”

How you talk to yourself about yourself is the most important choice you’ll make. 

It really does seem true that we can only love others to the level at which we love ourselves. 

So…hold yourself to high standards if that works for you. Just…be friendly and supportive in the process. 

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