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    Lisa Schwaller Coaching

    Certified Life Coach

    time management

    Have To or Choose To?

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    Lately, I’ve been thinking about what motivates people.

    I hear the phrase “I have to…” often.

    Yet, it’s not factually true.

    We choose our actions and our commitments.

    All of them.

    Your brain might be shouting, “Oh, no, no! Some things I have to do!”

    Really?

    Really, really?!?

    Don’t want to pay taxes? No problem, you can choose to pay fines or go to jail instead!

    Don’t want to take care of your kids? No problem, some people don’t, you can leave anytime!

    Don’t want to go to work? Whatever works for you, darling, yet you can certainly pursue an alternative (welfare, live with your dad, live by the river in a van or a tent)!

    “Oh, Lisa, you’re being ridiculous! You know I can’t do that?”

    Can’t?

    Or won’t?

    Be completely honest with yourself.

    You do what you do because you choose to do so.

    You might be going towards something you want or away from something you don’t want.

    Yet you are deciding.

    Which is great news!

    Few things trigger my Rebel tendency more than “have to” energy.

    “Oh, yeah, watch me NOT TO!”

    When you step into the power of your choice…

    You might resist for a while and then…

    You might feel a sense of calm wash over you.

    Ah, yes, I’m cooking dinner again tonight because I want to take care of my family.

    Ah, yes, I’m paying taxes because I choose to be a law abiding citizen while residing in this country.

    Ah, yes, I’m going to work to earn an income and to grow myself as a person and to be a contributing member or…whatever reasons you go to work.

    Does owning the power of your choice make it less stressful?

    Yes, I believe so. At least that’s how it works for me.

    I love being connected to my agency.

    The more I step into the authority I have over my mind and actions, the more self-trusting I feel.

    I decide.

    And then I bring that power of presence with me into the world.

    Feels amazing.

    So amazing that I almost felt like I “have to” share the message with as many people as possible!

    Here is your homework: Pay attention to your “have to” and “want to” thoughts in the week ahead. Notice what feelings come with each option for you. Do you feel more energized when you get to, choose to, decide to and WANT to?

    P.S. Please click here to sign up for my free video + PDF “3 Ways to Reduce Stress TODAY!”

    person writing on brown wooden table near white ceramic mug
    Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

    I don’t have time! (Um…really?!?)

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    Hello, lovely people,

    My mind is on metrics lately. So let’s talk sex math this week!

    You might think: “It’s hard to find time for sex.”

    Time is a cover reason for things that we say we want yet aren’t yet 110% committed to.

    There is a saying that we make time for the things that are important to us.

    This is true.

    And…

    We often prioritize things that will have negative consequences when not done by a deadline. 

    Exercise? Pfft, I’ll get around to it, my body can wait. It will forgive me. Again. This work project can’t. Has to be done by Friday. 

    Sex? Pfft, I know making time for sex would be good for us, but my relationship can wait. My partner will deal. Again. For now, I have too much on my to-do list to make sex a priority. 

    Here is your homework for the week:

    How many minutes does an average sexy session last in your relationship? Start to finish. 

    23 minutes? 92 minutes? 8?

    To create a sexy, connected, intimate relationship, how much time do you want to spend on sex each week?

    You get to decide. 

    And you get to decide if last week’s investment in sex is going to create the relationship you want.

    Relationship intimacy can be built in many ways, from relaxing on vacation to working in the yard.

    But sex is the one thing you and your partner share that isn’t in other relationships. (Assuming you are in a monogamous relationship with 1 person…which describes 99% of my readers.)

    If this relationship is where you get sex with another person…

    …and you like your choice to be in an exclusive sexual relationship…

    How many minutes a week do you want to spend on this activity?

    Romantic, huh, this math question? 

    Evaluate the real time it takes to have sex.

    And ask yourself again if time is the real problem. 

    If time isn’t the issue…perhaps something else is in the way.

    Love you madly,

    Lisa

    P.S. Work with me 1-on-1! Individual coaching is incredibly effective for making shifts in your relationship. Click here to sign up for a free mini-session. Now is the perfect time to accelerate your relationship’s growth and intimacy. 

    person wearing brown coat and silver round analog watch
    Photo by Nordgreen on Unsplash

    How Much Can You Do?

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    What do you hope to accomplish with the rest of 2020?

    What about between now and 2030?

    This month I wanted to see what I could learn from my to-do list. It was definitely eye opening!

    I found areas where I was spending too much time making a decision for no reason other than habit.

    The tasks that I “snoozed” pointed to areas where I had emotional work to clean up my thoughts and beliefs.

    What we believe about time and our relationship to time reveals what we believe about ourselves.

    It reveals the gap between desire and commitment.

    I have BIG DREAMS for my future.

    I’m sure you have big dreams, too.

    Is your relationship with yourself healthy enough to maximize how you manage your tasks and time?

    If not, reach out to me. My self-coaching is transforming my understanding of the challenges my clients face with time management, resulting in more meaningful goal plans.

    I would love to help you, too!

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

    Subscribe to my newsletter to receive email updates.  

    There Is Enough Time

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    This quote used to make me feel annoyed! 😁

    Why? It infers a lot of elements, including:

    • Time: 24 hrs (non-negotiable)
    • Prioritization: important or urgent; who decides?
    • Quality: best, better, good, or garbage; who decides?
    • Control: keep vs. delegate or skip; who decides?
    • Expectations: relationship with self

    What is “enough”? What is “important”? “Most”? “Everything”?

    Do you have definitions for these words that allow YOU to be set up for success?

    Think about it – almost every word in this quote is subjective!

    The first element of time management is the relationship we have with ourselves.

    Do we feel we have control over our time?

    Most of my clients (and frequently me) say NO, there is not enough time for the most important things.

    The “not enough” thought is the opening story in many coaching sessions. It’s a cover story for the relationship we have with ourselves. It’s an entry point into creating our future self.

    As your coach, we can unravel this quote until you agree with it entirely. Sans annoyance. 😌

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

    Subscribe to my newsletter to receive email updates.  

    The Past

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    How much time do you spend living in your past?

    Answer my questions and we’ll see!

    In a job interview, how do you answer this request: “Tell me about yourself.”

    Are you a good parent or friend? Really? Why?

    What’s your ideal weight? Why?

    How much will you earn in 2021? What is the basis for your answer?

    Chances are that your answers were based in your past, either directly or indirectly.

    You may have selected more positive or negative experiences to create your answer. Isn’t that fascinating?

    One of the best things about being a coach is being present with the client’s future.

    My clients love to tell me about the past. At a minimum, they think it sets context.

    But…the past has zero bearing on the client’s potential to create their future.

    Zero.

    Releasing the hold on the past can set you free.

    I love this quote because it reminds me to live into my future…from the future.

    It’s one of the skills that my clients cultivate when working with me.

    If this speaks to you, call me for a consult!

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

    Subscribe to my newsletter to receive email updates.  

    Only So Much Time…

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    Isn’t this quote great?

    It puts a smile on my face.

    Time is great, too. Isn’t it wonderful that it’s limited?

    Time increases in value to us because it’s limited.

    • Imagine having 48 hours in a day instead of 24.
    • Imagine having 12 hours in a day instead of 24.

    What would change for you in these scenarios?

    My focus on time and task management this month has taught me that “no” is an important time management tool. I feel grateful that time puts my priorities into focus.

    Life is more challenging and rewarding because we live with this silly limitation called “time”. What do you think?

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

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    Time Abundance

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    The Abraham-Hicks money and the law of attraction card deck is on my bedside table. Yes, I’m a woo-woo kind of gal. I mean, if it helps, I’m in! 💗

    I pull a card from time to time to give my mind a thought to mull over. This particular card has been resonating with me.

    My August 2020 personal focus is on my relationship with time. Talk about an amazing self-coaching opportunity!

    I have become keenly aware that there are 2 primary emotions around time for me right now: “overwhelmed” and “impatient”.

    The most frequent thoughts generating those feelings are: “I don’t have enough time”, “This is my priority list – I WANT to do all of these things – it’s still too much”, and “I’m never going to catch up to…”.

    Oh, let’s see…are those thoughts helpful or not? They are super not helpful!

    One of my favorite powerful questions is “Given I can choose ANY thought, what thought do I want to choose?”

    What thought do I want to choose today about time? How about: “I have the same amount of time as Oprah.” or “I know today’s #1 TOP priority and know exactly what action I will take today on that priority. The rest is gravy.” (more of a paragraph than a thought but…I’ll allow it!)

    I want to feel abundant about time. I want to have my energy on point for a highly productive day. Even more than that, I want to FEEL good while living my day.

    What “time” thoughts are the most helpful for you?

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

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    What’s Your Focus: Time Priorities

    by

    gold and blue analog watch
    Photo by Ivan Diaz on Unsplash

    Do you know how you are spending your time? 

    I work with people who feel stress, anxious, and overwhelmed. 

    Most of my clients report feeling like they’re mentally a little “out of it”. 

    When we dive into it, a lot of people feel like their time is not their own. They say they feel pulled in 100 directions each day. 

    The surprising thing is that they sometimes respond to feeling like “time victims” by wasting their own time. They say, “I’m too tired to work out” so they watch 3 episodes of some show they don’t even like that much. 

    We call this “buffering”. So, you take the edge off of life by watching TV, or checking social media, or drinking, or eating. It provides a buffer between you and your feelings. Worse, it provides a layer between you and your dreams. 

    Do you know how you are spending your time?

    And, more importantly, do you agree with those time investments?

    Each day, every human gets 24 hours. Oprah gets 24 hours. World leaders get 24 hours. Time is the great equalizer. 

    If you are someone who seems to struggle with time, the first step is to journal where you are spending your time. 

    This is kind of like a weight loss journal. 

    For 2 weeks, track where you spend your time. 

    At the end of each day, evaluate whether there are areas where you felt most energized vs. wasteful. 

    The first step is awareness. Note the time assessment (energized/wasteful). Then ask yourself “Why”. 

    This process should not take more than 10-15 minutes per night including jotting thoughts on why you felt one way or another. 

    Remember, I help people take this to the next level, beyond concept (“what”) into skilled practice (“how”). If knowing where and why you spend your time is a challenge, please reach out to me. I’d love to help!

    I want to be your coach! Sign up for a free consultation.  

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